Landon, I love the concept and idea behind your storybook! I think having a kid wonder about where we came from and creation is so common, that it fits in perfectly! I also love how you are choosing three different creation stories to tell from three different perspectives. I think that will make for a really cool storybook overall, especially the way you set it up in the interview. The only question I have though is will Charlie end up choosing which story he believes is true? Because that's the way the introduction seems to be leaning, and if he isnt going to choose, you may want to think of how else the introduction can end. But overall, I think your idea and the creative way you wrote the introduction will make this a great storybook! Great job!
From your introduction I was able to see exactly where you are talking us. You did a really good job on setting up the three creation stories, which I assume are Christianity, Judaism, and Mormon. I will be exited to read these three stories later on in the semester for sure! I also really liked your character choices too! The modern setting is really nice; furthermore, I like that it has a children’s storybook idea. I will be eager to see how you tell each creation story in ways children can understand. I assume that is what you are going for with this setting. You format was fine. Thank you for breaking up each dialogue into separate paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to follow and read. Pictures are neat as well. Especially the mom and son picture, that really makes everything seem warm and cozy. Perfect setting for a children’s story
Hi Landon! I enjoyed reading your storybook introduction and thought it correlated well with the title of your project.
However, I felt as though the overall trajectory of the storytelling was pretty predictable. It seems as though focusing on the major world religions as source material is a productive experience from a personal standpoint, but doesn't always make for the most engaging reading material.
I wonder if you could focus on obscure creation stories, from marginalized or otherwise little-known cultures? It seems that this would provide both you and the reader with distinct lessons about how certain people groups have used myths to explain the creation of the world.
Another thing I noticed is that while your cover art for the storybook is quite engaging and really unlike anything I've ever seen, the piece you've chosen for your storybook introduction looks pretty trivial. The cartoon gives it a child-like feel and is sort of a turn-off.
A bit more dialogue might also infuse a bit of interactions between characters, and thus create scenes in which the reader becomes somewhat of an audience member. That would be really cool.
Hey Landon! I am writing on your comment wall for the extra credit blog comments. When I first saw your name on the roster for this class, I was ecstatic to know someone else in the class. I'm glad I told you about the class last semester haha. I just wanted to say thank you for all of your helpful comments on my stories. They have been constructive and encouraging, so thank you for that! I hope all is well and your semester is going smoothly. I miss seeing your whole house, so tell them hello for me. Hope to see you at the wedding if I don't see you sooner.
Landon, your idea for the storybook project brings an old-time question into new light: Where did all this come form? I really like how you incorporated the wonder and curiosity we've all had about this world into a format we could understand and sympathize with - the mind of a child! Reading through your story I do have some constructive criticism to lend you. It was a little hard to read your story because at times I couldn't follow which tense you were using. You tend to switch between past and present tenses. While it doesn't fully take away from the story itself, it does make it a little harder to read. Other than that, your story looks like it has a solid foundation to build from. Keep up the good work!
I really like your layout to your blog. I love books. Reading is one of my favorite things to do so obviously I like the background covered in books. I go to the library as often as I possibly can. You blog is also set up well so that I am able to find all the stories fairly easily.
I just wanted to reconnect with you and say thanks for all of your feedback on my posts this semester. Your time is appreciated. Also, I see that you have not only done the minimum on the comments, but have also gone above and beyond with multiple comments on my stories. Thank you for helping me become a better writer. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the semester in this class and all others you are taking!
Landon, I love the concept and idea behind your storybook! I think having a kid wonder about where we came from and creation is so common, that it fits in perfectly! I also love how you are choosing three different creation stories to tell from three different perspectives. I think that will make for a really cool storybook overall, especially the way you set it up in the interview. The only question I have though is will Charlie end up choosing which story he believes is true? Because that's the way the introduction seems to be leaning, and if he isnt going to choose, you may want to think of how else the introduction can end. But overall, I think your idea and the creative way you wrote the introduction will make this a great storybook! Great job!
ReplyDeleteFrom your introduction I was able to see exactly where you are talking us. You did a really good job on setting up the three creation stories, which I assume are Christianity, Judaism, and Mormon. I will be exited to read these three stories later on in the semester for sure!
ReplyDeleteI also really liked your character choices too! The modern setting is really nice; furthermore, I like that it has a children’s storybook idea. I will be eager to see how you tell each creation story in ways children can understand. I assume that is what you are going for with this setting.
You format was fine. Thank you for breaking up each dialogue into separate paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to follow and read. Pictures are neat as well. Especially the mom and son picture, that really makes everything seem warm and cozy. Perfect setting for a children’s story
Hi Landon! I enjoyed reading your storybook introduction and thought it correlated well with the title of your project.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I felt as though the overall trajectory of the storytelling was pretty predictable. It seems as though focusing on the major world religions as source material is a productive experience from a personal standpoint, but doesn't always make for the most engaging reading material.
I wonder if you could focus on obscure creation stories, from marginalized or otherwise little-known cultures? It seems that this would provide both you and the reader with distinct lessons about how certain people groups have used myths to explain the creation of the world.
Another thing I noticed is that while your cover art for the storybook is quite engaging and really unlike anything I've ever seen, the piece you've chosen for your storybook introduction looks pretty trivial. The cartoon gives it a child-like feel and is sort of a turn-off.
A bit more dialogue might also infuse a bit of interactions between characters, and thus create scenes in which the reader becomes somewhat of an audience member. That would be really cool.
Hey Landon! I am writing on your comment wall for the extra credit blog comments. When I first saw your name on the roster for this class, I was ecstatic to know someone else in the class. I'm glad I told you about the class last semester haha. I just wanted to say thank you for all of your helpful comments on my stories. They have been constructive and encouraging, so thank you for that! I hope all is well and your semester is going smoothly. I miss seeing your whole house, so tell them hello for me. Hope to see you at the wedding if I don't see you sooner.
ReplyDeleteLandon, your idea for the storybook project brings an old-time question into new light: Where did all this come form? I really like how you incorporated the wonder and curiosity we've all had about this world into a format we could understand and sympathize with - the mind of a child!
ReplyDeleteReading through your story I do have some constructive criticism to lend you. It was a little hard to read your story because at times I couldn't follow which tense you were using. You tend to switch between past and present tenses. While it doesn't fully take away from the story itself, it does make it a little harder to read. Other than that, your story looks like it has a solid foundation to build from. Keep up the good work!
I really like your layout to your blog. I love books. Reading is one of my favorite things to do so obviously I like the background covered in books. I go to the library as often as I possibly can. You blog is also set up well so that I am able to find all the stories fairly easily.
ReplyDeleteHi Landon!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to reconnect with you and say thanks for all of your feedback on my posts this semester. Your time is appreciated. Also, I see that you have not only done the minimum on the comments, but have also gone above and beyond with multiple comments on my stories. Thank you for helping me become a better writer. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the semester in this class and all others you are taking!